Thursday, 14 February 2013

Mood Poisoning

I went shopping at the weekend, after seeing Wreck It Ralph with the kids – I enjoyed it, typical Disney, saccharine sweet (my teeth hurt afterwards), but well worth the watch – but the shopping experience ruined my weekend a little.

Asda was the choice of store, as it’s the one I know my way around the best. Strange that you get to know where things are after a while. So much so, that when they change the aisle products it throws me completely! That wasn’t my gripe though. I wanted something quick and easy for the boys, so we chose hotdogs.
What I want to know and I don’t know if it’s just Asda, but why do they sell hotdogs in tins or jars of 8, but the finger rolls (ideal for hotdogs!) in packs of 6??? It is pure madness and something that really dumbfounded me and angered me a little. You either have to buy 3 tins and 4 packs of rolls or just have 2 hotdogs left over! Why sell finger rolls in 6 anyway? I mean the average family is 4 so packs of 8 or even 4 would make more sense, financially as well as for peace of mind (no food wastage!).

People have since said to me that I should have bought two packs of rolls and stuck the 4 extra in the freezer – but why should I? You know that when I need them again I will forget to get them out or forget them completely and they will be in the freezer forever. Eventually I will have dozens of bread rolls as I have frozen all the spare ones!

I once had a tiny banana (save your lewd comments!) and so I froze it as I thought it was cute. Months later I found this tiny back iced blob in the freezer… I was hoping to preserve it for the future but had to chuck it out!

There are plenty of things I don’t get and I wonder what people must think! Why didn’t the chief of Asda sell 8 rolls instead of 6? Why do people wear Crocs? Don’t give me that "they’re comfy" crap! I am sure dead ducks are comfy, but you wouldn’t wear them on your feet?!?!

Crocs seem to have replaced a certain look for Brits abroad – the sandals and white socks look. When I was younger all the folks had them on as they strolled along the Costa del Sol. My Dad was guilty of this, my Grandad still is. I remember a time when on holiday with the parents and we went in this bar, which was karaoke too, and the compere (you know the type, a waiter that reckons he has never sung before but will give it a go to start things off, sings Pretty Woman, more like "Priddy Woomuuun", every night!) he states that sandals and socks is a big no no in Spain…. We all looked at my Dad who was secretly kicking his sandals off and putting his socks in his pocket!

What goes through the minds of these people???

When the guy at a biscuit factory or a chocolate factory is given the job of designing the tin/box what goes through his mind? Why does he put the descriptions of the chocolates or the biscuits on the bottom of the tin? I come to get a biscuit and naturally lift the lid off, have a look at the delights waiting for me, pondering what that certain biscuit/chocolate is, only to realise that the description is on the bottom of the packaging! So I do that movement where you angle the tin enough to read what it says without angling it too far and tipping out the contents! It all seems too much like hard work for the sake of a small treat!

Speaking of tins and boxes and packets – what goes through the minds of people, usually kids or teenagers, when they finish the contents and put the empty pack back in the cupboard!! I mean why would they do that? What is wrong with placing it in the bin? I wouldn’t mind if they left it on the side in fact, instead of back in the cupboard. There is no worse feeling (well, I guess there might be, but for this purpose there isn’t) then seeing a multi pack of crisps and thinking I right fancy a pack and going into the cupboard and realising there is bugger all inside!! Some lazy get has just left it in there!! You wouldn’t do that with a tin of soup, so why with a bag of crisps?!?!

And what is it with people who just walk across your path, no matter what the situation, or those that stand in a supermarket in front of the area you want to look at or pick something from. They stand there gazing at their list or reading the contents on the pack. No matter how much coughing I do they don’t take the hint. What are they thinking? I reckon they do it on purpose, but why would you want to spend more time than necessary in the place? The whole world is out to get me sometimes, I swear!

My kids can’t actually walk a straight line. They don’t have rickets or a calcium deficiency; they just do it on purpose, to see how far they can push the button. They walk from side to side, guaranteeing that they will walk across someone’s path, usually mine. Now when they do that I swing a leg and trip them up – sounds cruel, but they don’t do it again, well not until the next time at least.

Sometimes when people do something to annoy you, you know exactly what they’re thinking though. My brother is a prime example of this. I will text him; I will ask him something that requires an answer. It might be when is his daughter’s birthday and what does she want? It might be the fact we’re going out for a few beers and does he want to come?

He sees the message is from me. He reads the message from me. And he thinks… ‘It’s only my brother’ and so ignores me. For days! Eventually I may get a ‘yes’ or ‘no’, sometimes I even get ‘I’ll ask the Mrs’, but usually I am met with an electronic silence as I know he can’t be arsed replying to me, thinks its only his brother, and then forgets about me.

I know he does this as he’s told me he’s done this when he’s had no choice but to talk to me. I have to corner him most times in order to get anything out of him! I was the last to know he was having another child in fact!

The other thing I notice when you send an email or text is when the person that receives it seems to only pay attention to one line. Why do they do that? Surely, as I would, they would digest the entire body of said message and answer completely. Instead you have to send another message and repeat the bits they missed out. Sometimes it isn’t that they’ve only read the first line, it may be something in the middle that they answer, but completely ignore the opening and the end.

Just been to Asda and it was packed. Was it packed when you went earlier? I couldn’t park anywhere! Oh, I got hotdogs for tea, ok? And why do they not sell bread rolls in packs of 8?!? I’ve had to buy two packs – I guess I can put some in the freezer. Do we have enough room in the freezer? I know you’re going out so will make them straight away, what time is your mate coming again?
The recipient:
Hotdogs are fine.

Why don’t they appreciate that bread rolls should come in packs of 4 or 8 – that is the important bit there!! These people almost make me have an aneurism!!! Aaargh! Need to calm down…

I am sorry, I think I have mood poisoning… Must be something I hate.

Hotdogs maybe?

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